Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
