i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
