You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
