What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
