Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
