I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
one two three fourrrrnication!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
