the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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