Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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