my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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