We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
