Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We're too hungover to prance.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
