so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
