I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
