watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
