I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
