It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
