Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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