His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
