I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
