she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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