Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
