does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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