I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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