Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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