i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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