38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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