I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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