Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We are all done wearing pants today
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'