I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's never too late to be topless.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner