so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
