So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
