Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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