Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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