All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Porn is love you can see.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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