All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
