so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
