I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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