Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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