i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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