She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
