By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
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