Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
