I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
