idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
