ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
