I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
