New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
