he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
