so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
