East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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