im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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