The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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