This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
