Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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